actually, i more along the lines hurt myself, which makes me sad...which is the same thing.
i wish i didnt have these morals.
that "i cant have intercourse with a girl unless i date her", and if i dont go by it, i feel awful. sure i act like "hell yeah, i got all up in that" but really.....i feel like crap. because really that means i had no feelings for her...but i had feelings for her vagina.....well...technically...i did have a feeling...but that was in it...but whatever.
i also wish i didnt have that thing where "i cant date you because i know and have befriend-ed your ex and i respect him". man.....those are the best girls. all of them. those ones that i respect someone else which keeps me away from them....and it makes it really awkward to talk to them now. especially this latest one. thats why i was hesitant to say hello to her....eh...
"sometimes the only way around it, is to cry it out" - A Friend.
i hate that phrase. so much. because crying is for hoes. real talk. i can understand crying because you lost a big game. or crying because you lost your family. but crying because you dont understand something? no...not at all. but low and behold....
2 days before and yesterday...what was i doing...by my definition, i was "acting like a ho" for most of the day. but i know why now.
"The weight of the world
And the hurt and the dirt
Can make you disturbed
But I heard, but I heard
When I wrap my arms around you
Every mistake we made crumbles
When I wrap my arms around you
Everything echoes a new song " - Sondre Lerche
i miss love....alot...i miss being loved. i miss loving someone. i miss being envied by the people in the crowd. i miss the "Get A Room, Ya Saps!!!" i would attract, due to our PDAs. i miss that. and i cant find it. f*Ck all this "let love you" because it isnt coming. and it annoys me. people mistake my overbearing care for annoyingness. i guess maybe....Jokes on me....and Life Was Telling Me A Joke...yeah a Joke.
*slaps himself*
Whatever.....I cant stop the Rain.....and i really dont know...if i want too anymore.
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Me personally, I find long term relationships with all that P.D.A. shit pointless at this time in my life. But to have love and lost is better than not loving at all. The only way you will you will ever know is if you at make the attempt. And I feel you on crying. I hate crying when there isnt a reason to cry. But sometimes the best medicine is to cry, because you feel so much better anyway.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you go with a girl that one of your friends went with, that should mean they moved on. So why haven't you? It shouldn't be anything wrong with dating others ex's. But always remember, there is plenty fish in the sea, and chicks overpopulate the planet. I'm sure you'll find the girl that's right for you.
Liking a girl only for whats on the outside isn't all bad either. Sure, if she puts out and you all can still maintain your friendship w/o any strings attached, then by all means go for it. There's nothing wrong with friends with benefits.