Thursday, December 17, 2009
im back at it, like black milk...dag nabbit...i got a term paper to do in about an hour....so i'll be off here soon....just wanted to see something....and i got a nice comment, for a Charles Hamilton song....thanks...whoever that was.....thoughtful of you....
Charles Hamilton, Black Milk...and the sound of keys clacking have been on my sound track....hence why i've been sadder....besides my grades tanking and one school accepting me for a later term....like...in 2 semesters.....wtf is that? anyways....
trying to open up the world (twitter) to the joyous verses of Blu....homie is cold and authentic....
i got a new tattoo! :-)
that gives me 10....
it says Wabi Sabi....means "Beauty Within Imperfection".......
tried to make it my twitter name....no bueno....smh..haha....
i gotta get to this paper...
Saturday, October 31, 2009
im packing for New Orleans, taking me a nice little trip to clear my head....
and while i pack for it, i cant help but feel....mad....mad at people....for no reason....
i dont see what good it is to be mad @ people, either....because they do usually let you down.
i mean its human nature right? people are just meant to disappoint other people, right?
people just let you down.....like a broken leg on a stool or something....
im not talking about anyone in particular. thats just it. no one has let me down recently. they have ignored me....but thats not letting someone down...thats just having a life, aint it?
i find myself constantly checking on people who i dont care for....or i know they probably dont really care for me.....i thought i had people...butttt....life hands you cards, and you might think you have the best hand.....and turns out yours is crap. i guess i'll use it like a shield...or something......i dont even know where i am going with this one.
i havent left my house (outside of school or work/practice) in the past 2 or 3 weeks. i know, i am pathetic. i just dont have much of a life anymore. i dont have a car, so i cant drive anywhere, i dont have friends @ a COMMUNITY college, so i wouldnt really have anyone to see. and the one person i might think i wanna see pays no head to me....unless she is bored..with that "you on campus" text? to which i painstakingly reply "you up for some eats?" i am a tough guy exterior with a nice guy demeanor, who acts like he wants to be alone but wants to surrounded with friends....or a girlfriend....a damn shame
that song has been on repeat....hate on charles if you want....but this guy is my favorite musical artist. he knows he isnt the best. he parades around like he is...but he knows he isnt. he is the best he can be. he might be an asshole, and someone who is a bit messed up in the head...but arent we all?
i thought i had this girlfriend thing worked out....i would go after 1) 2) or 3)..... one is a black punk rockish....who from what i can tell will not date a black person...or atleast one of my characteristics....another is a white girl who tries to act tooooo black, and has self esteem problems, and treats me like a puppy.....the last is a 23 year old, who has the mind of a 14 year old...and it bothers me. her having a good time is "putting on a pink wig and walking around like they dont know its on".....the one i wouldnt mind is deeply educated, and bleeds the color of corn and ink. another i wanted (as in used to but dont really anymore) bleeds those rival colors and has a painful history of her own...in terms of men...but she isolates herself....and pains her self with her history.....the girl i want for real, is in Ohio....she's white....and acts very black too....and looks alil chubby...but with a sweet face....im a sucker.....
i'm gonna get rid of my facebook again....after this sunday...or monday....maybe till the end of the semester...my grades slipped...i almost failed a paper because i was so trying to find some friends......but i forgot these words "I once was a loser, now im older, still the same loser, thats why i look so different to ya, you see the past, i see the future...." i'm still gonna be a loner...no matter what i do....and i've come to realize that. "your a nice charming man" from a grandparent, or a cousin isnt going to help, espcailly when they tell you that as they hold their boyfriends hand and skip down the street, or as you spend the Xth straight day @ home....because no one wants to MAKE time for you. this isnt supposed to be a downer, if your reading this, like "your just trying to make yourself the victim" i'm not. victims dont try. i do try....and its like i open my mouth for people to just...shit in it.
i mean think about it. if i actually really had the friends that i thought i did, who wanted to try and see me, or something....i wouldnt be going to New Orleans for fun, wouldnt i? its halloween weekend...one of the ones you spend with friends....but instead i'll be in some expensive ass hotel...doing this for 3 days...when im not scouring the streets trying to cover my self in some ink that means only something to me....*shrug*
it just seems like all of this has to happen...like this:
My Social Life dwindles....
My Knee Gives Out....
My Grades Slip....
The Team takes alot of turbulance.....
i started to get out of shape....
i realize i am the failure of the family....
im growing dreads...i dont care what anyone says...im covering myself in ink....i wont live past 45....i know this....i will be single for life.....and im not ok with it...but im coming to grips with it....i might not be ugly, but if your not attractive...what are you?....when you can tell me that FF17@tmo.blackberry.net....email me....or text me...or call me....
Thursday, October 1, 2009
she professed how real she was, and how if she didnt liek you, or thought you were being weird, she would let you know, and tell you to f*ck yourself.......so im waiting for that, right? and i figured i'd check if she got what i said.it wasnt bad what i said. saw the message status "Read Deleted". means......she read it...and didnt respond....and deleted it.....yeah...you are real, your real ass trifling b*tch. and im not even saying that in ire, or out of anger. you called yourself that...so shouldnt i be able to as well?
THIS IS ALL ON AN INTERNET DATING WEBSITE....YES I AM THAT LOW NOW.
i mentioned this girl...female, earlier on here. well i got her name and her number. her name is Celeste. she is a painter/artist. she has a gallery opening, that i will attend. she is real cute. she is in my Death and Dying class.....oh yeah she's 23......what the f*ck....me? every female i go to hit on at this god forsaken school either already has a boyfriend or looks like they are 18-20, and are in their mid 20s. and they say the same thing: "i thought you were 22-24".....man, f*ck this....
Chicago this weekend....will see people clear my head...maybe get a new tattoo....miss a game....well....w/e they wont miss me too much.
w/e, i dont know what the point of this one was, besides sounding mopey.
oh yeah.....i reactivated my Facebook....so....find me on there?
@>--->--- Tears Of Fire
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
i actually turned to drinking to ease stuff...not smart. but....kinda hard to stop now :-/
almost turned to smoking....an oxymoron: "an asthmatic smoking....." you can laugh....i know i did. stopped laughing though.
anyways, i realized that i was moving too fast for myself. so when i do this, i usually try and go back to the way i was before my quick pace. i retrace my steps. i go back to what was before. maybe its back to the music i listened to before. maybe its back to the friends. maybe its even back to the food. maybes its even back to the women. i went all the way back to "Speakerboxxx/The Love Below" to retrace myself. (yeah a long ass time) the friends i had then are already gone. some of which because i dont have a facebook anymore, some because of the frequent new phones. some because i dont care about you after a while. i dont wanna toss names out there, bot one of you goes to Michigan State...well 2 of you do. AHA! and ya'll went to school together. im just gonna end it on that note.
the title is reference to me. as some of you...well none of you know, i have resorted to "Online Dating"...........(thats your period of time to laugh @ me). the last 2 girls i've been after (Rian and Michelle) were met this way. im sorry if i lied and said i met them @ the riverwalk. the only truth in that is Michelle and I's 1st date was @ the riverwalk. yeah,....gotta work on that lying thing. anyways, i see women on there with tits hanging out of there stuff, virtually naked, or a fat lady who would take a picture of her clevage and just her face.....yeah, although your fat, and no one will date you off that site, your a whore. Just Because people are 20x more horny behind their computers then they are in real life, doesnt mean that we wanna see your ole fat self in front of a camera. idk if you do have 38Js, that just means your 38(0) J(umbo). i also see alot of really attractive women on there...and wonder "how could you be single? your gorgeous" i got my taste with that. Her Name was Jacoby. i think i mentioned her before....but i'll go into it again. from Allen Park, cute as heck. for real. great everything...except...awful ass attitude. she called me.
Me: "Hey there"
J: "N*gga is you gay? who says that anymore."
Me: "ok then, what did you do today?"
J: "Shut Up"
and that was the happiest moment of our convo. if you read this Jacoby (if you can read), yes i am airing you out, and i should go in on your fake ass, but i dont have the time, and im sure you dont have the attention span.
anyways, i claimed myself as a whore, because all these women with their nudity bothered me. alot. so i strayed from naked-ish (as in not fully clothed) pictures. but.....temptation and curiosity sunk in. i JUST put up a picture of my naked torso and chest (which is tattoed, and in better shape than most...or just appears so) and within 2 hours, my inbox had 6 messages from people i have never heard from before. i was floored and angered. back when i had a nice message about myself, alot of "lols" and "haha"s, people just raked over me. but when i put forth no BS, and a half nude photo, i am the centerpiece....people anger me. i really dont know what else to say.
oh wait, i have a new music player, feat. Charles Hamilton (boo), Little Brother, Mastodon, and Flying Lotus.
I'm done for now, i have to shower. i got work soon.
*_' <---- Tears Of Fire
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I don't have a facebook for the momment. No I didn't delete you. If I do, and I know you, you'll know before I do it. I'll tell you. I am "an active tweeter", I let my thoughts be known on there. Its almost like texting with out texting. Its ok. I don't have to feel connected with people to talk to them. Facebook makes that so. Makes you feel like you have to actually connect in a convo. Of course this is all my opinion.
I wish someone would take a picture of me on this park bench, and let me have it. This would be possibly on of the greatest photos I have ever conceieved. For real.
Rian and I broke up (refer down to the picture of me and the tan chick), and michelle won't talk to me (refer to me and white chick). Rian, I'm glad about. Don't have to deal with that headcase anymore. Michelle....idk why she stopped answering my texts...but I wish I could have a reason. I'd feel creepy if I went to her job (Wendy's across the bridge) and said "hey, your phone messed up?"
I stopped following some people on twitter. I'm tired of some people. If you think it might be you, it more than likely is. Then again, if it is you, your too "selff brazened" to care, ....so problem solved.
Going to OCC taught me somethings: community college doesn't mean your dumb or poor. Just might mean you want to start off school well, you need credits, or any assortment.
Michigan people are the most opinionated people out there. If you ride a bike, you have to be poor and not own a car, or you just had a DUI. If you ride the bus, you must be lowe class. This is why I need to leaave her.
I find I am most at peace when I am alone in one area, with people walking by/sitting at a slight distance, and I have my music (and sometimes my note pad). I was tolds its called people watching. "Yeap, Ya Dig!" Says Charles Hamilton (Toy Story)
The title of this blog comes from today and really this week. I met a girl in my most depressing class (Death and Dying), and she's cute. but that has nothing really to do with her. Brittany Bauer has slowely become my best friend. Funny seeing as her ex (and my former friend) told me she hated me. A lot. But whatever, not in high school anymore. Heresay is for faggots. But back to the point. She is pretty cool and pretty cute. Hmmm. Anyways, this little baby looked @ it just stared. Didn't make a noise or anything. Just stared. I don't know what that means. This nice lady walked over to me, and sat down on the bench with me. We spoke for alittle. I was grateful, because I was about to pass out in the chair.
That taught me that not everyone is just too busy to say hello. And kinda made me smile for today.
But my ride is here, so I'm off.
"Tears Of Fire"
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sad truth, out of a sound lyric huh? Bad gets awful, and awful get horrid. Horrid gets terrible, and that just leads to hell, ya know? Hell aint fun, I haven't been there personally, but just judging off my personal downfalls, and knowing that hell is like x166396356853923 worse, doesn't make me feel that much better. Not at all. But "C'est La Vie" I deserve it. I'm a d*ck head. And I won't hide it. I wear my emotions on my sleeve.......when I wear sleeves, otherwise its just on my bicep......close enough. Ha.....
".....giving the popsicle to criticis and hospitable women, see I could use that as a diss, or use that as a gift, that comes after a kiss" -Tanya Morgan, "So Damn Down" off of "Brooklynatti"
Most of what I say might seem like I'm trying to just ho your life, and that I am unfriendly. Some people, yes you caught me, I hate that ass, and I want to ho your life. But to others, that's my terms of endearment. If I give you a demeaning nickname (I.e. "Kuffie Hat/Head Boy" = Stennett) obviously, I must like you (in his case as in most, its platonic) enough to take time out of my day to think of a name for your ass. That is unless, your just a b*tch. Then you just get a mean ass name, like Timme's "Lumber Jack" for her deeper voice, Jesse/Jeiszee's "Snorlax" for her larger appearance and her lapses of sleep, and her friend Kiara who is "The Goblin, The Green Goblin, Ogre, etc." just anything with a monsterous face, because that b*tch is hit like a ball on a T-Ball stand. Ugh. I pull no punches, nope, I light into like a cigarette, and pull on ya hair like a bad barette (sp)
I have a crush on a chaldean......lol, I feel I should end it on that note. And I will
"i'm the early bird in the tree, your another worm, he's so cold, he could freeze in a ton of fur" Mikey Rocks, "Oscar The Grouch" off of "Cool ass Ninjas"
<3 ya, miss Ismith.....lmfao....but really though....lol
Saturday, August 8, 2009
i realized i give 90% of myself but expect 110% from others.
i also realized i see the best out of people, until i hear something about them...then i dont expect anything out of them anymore. example: a friend i met through a short person, who had similar interest as myself: tattoos, music, and some girls. i actually sorta liked the person he dated (hindsight makes me say sorta...never really liked you, India) but after i heard about stuff he did constantly behind that females back...i felt awful when i spoke of him as my friend, or even as someone i know. i started to hate his ass. just ugh like "n*gga, how can you say something and then do the opposite? you lying sack of sh*t". but he was cool with me...so..i just ate it and dealt with it accordingly. low and behold, im not even friends with the chick, who he did wrong, anymore, so i feel bad that i hated that dude, esp because sometimes i think she deserved it ("you get burned by fire more than once, you deserve to burn" - Michael Sharpe....my father is a cruel man), but that dude is no where to be found. no more random wall posts on FB, no more random twitter tweets, no more random tattoo messages...just ceased to be in contact with "I". i'm kinda stunned about it, but...to each his own i guess.
i also learned i make too many promises with people who dont mean much to me. case in point: i'm supposed to be going to a grad party today....but i dont really know the kid that well, and from i have heard (from my "sister") he isnt a real person i need to talk to. especially because all those women who will be there who i dont need to see, the green goblin (hit up looking chick), snorlax (fat ole chick), the lumber jack, (deep voiced broad) and Diddy Kong (she looks like diddy kong...sorry)...although the last one and i have become friends....so i do feel kinda bad saying that.
i also realized i have a hard time letting go of people. but when i do....they are gone. example: India (i know your going to read this eventually...but whatever) i had a hard time letting go of her as a friend....and when i thought i liked her..it was even worse....but then i realized...i didnt...and that she didnt even like me as a friend near the end....then it became hard for me to hold on to that. another: Marty Watson. for some reason i love those that torment me. even the ones i know i cant get....kinda like when your playing a video game...and you see the extra bonus hidden behind these fans...that you cant get through...but you insist on running through them....getting hacked to pieces in the process. her friends hate me...all of them. and 2 of them arent shy about it either...f*ck them though. ones a cripple, and the other just isnt pretty. but she doesnt think they will approve of that "union"..also she thinks relationships ruin friendships...they dont unless you let them. but...she wont see me like that....but im not going to stop no matter how much i have convinced myself i will...
i had a dream a couple days back that i killed myself on accident...and everything got better for everyone else.....i had a friend who might read this, rehabilitate and become a bomb ass (good) track runner, i had a friend who is smart as hell, go on to win a bunch of awards for exhibting many different talents in class, i had this "sister" of mine who went on to be great in modeling, and become very successful...and it depressed me, only because i wasnt able to actually witness all of this...because i had died from sustaining a wound to my head and abdomin while in a hot tub...and just sat there, because i dont believe in patching up cuts....still wont, so thats a possible ending for "I"
i'm depressed, if you couldnt tell....but whatever..."c'est la vie" as the french say....life goes on....
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
yes, i am livid
im sorry, but im sure i have a right to be.
just because i am understanding, doesnt mean i have to be happy with it; f*ck this.
just because it has a hole doesnt mean you can f*ck it.
and no, its done. theres no option to pick up where you left off, after your choice. im not dating you ever again. you made me think i had someone....
i dont believe in that "if you let it go, and it comes back" if you have to leave something, obviously it wasnt for you to begin with. there isnt that "lets pick back up", no just...dont touch me. ever.
cant believe i got all happy about this too.
and i hope you do feel like crap...actually i hope you feel like worse, because i dont want to feel the same as you. ugh.
anyways, i mad $191.61 today. Coinstarring n*ggaz, and im proud of it. too bad its gonna be like 20 dollars after i cover my bank over draft AND my xbox subscription fee. *sigh*.....smh, im so bad with money *shows arms and chest* guess no tattoo for me.
i'm skipping work tomorrow....if i have to go...i just...dont wanna be a d*ck to the kids..im not in it today..and wont be in the heat and bugs :-/ and with all that fundraising...smh...
i am so stressed....idk if i want this anymore...
this has easily been the worst summer of my 19 years.
my family is a wreck...and like the Uniter States, i see why everyone acts like they like us, then hoes us behind our backs....my mother's side is super paranoid, and my father's side is plain crazy...and i'm def caught inbetween that sh*t, and its most defiantly a good mix. not @ all.
if i had a dime for every thing that has gone wrong this summer, and took a dollar away for everything good that happend.....i would be a rich ass dude, CLEARLY in the green. :-/...even the girls who might date me, pull back in fear....certified...i'm an ugly n*gga....no, an ugly african american male (sorry, Meaghan)
i'm outtie, though...im tired...and my grandmother came down to bitch about me only being allowed to sleep until 9am, then i gotta be awak the rest of the day....gay, right?
Monday, July 27, 2009
I throughly enjoyed myself last night. I think I have a great girlfriend, and that's not me being cakey. That's me being honest.
Got the cakes? Oh yeah check that too. Lmao
On a side note, I saw Bruno. Now, I love Sasha Baron Cohen, but that was gay as hell. And I don't mean that as in stupid, I mean it as in homosexual. As in, penises swinging around and anal toys. Like.....omg *retches* I mean it was funny, but....just...omg ew. *retches again*
On another note, I hate chaldean men. All of them....except for like 3. Really. Sorry. I hate all chaldean women....except for Amy Asmar....I <3 her, throughly. :-)...but that's it. Ya'll triffling as hell, and fake. Stop acting black, ya'll not hood. Caught between acting black, and acting super white. Ugh. (I'll explain this tomorrow)
That's all I really had to say on this one.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I found some new music. Fifa08, the video game has some banging songs. Not like super rap, but good enough that would make you hum, and bob your head. "The Core" by the Babamars is an example of one. Nice mellow song, progressive beat. Might have to move it to Drew Prince to get chopped and screwed. Lol.
I stand to receive about 600$ real soon. I think I know what to do with it.....BANK! Lol. Maybe one tat. But BANK!!!!. :-) idk if me and dino are like friends anymore, because I don't get anymore random outbursts from him, buttttt I should let him know that he prob will win our tattoo war. I'm burning out, lol.
I'm happy, I think. Or until I realized I forgot something. Like driving with out my wallet/ID and blowing out a tire. Hmm....well, i'm off the see this/these movies.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The mixtape is stalling. Rob and I still need to find time to record. I need to find more time to write, and ball up so I don't laugh as i'm recording. Then we gotta get Cullen and who ever else wants to help to come over and lay down some verse, ya know? So we can get this lifted like John legend. Drew Prince is working magic on the beats and I appreciate it, mucho. Ya'll should check out his draft tape "The Progress Report". Its on Z-Share, and everything.
I had a date yesterday.....it went well. Her name is Rian. She is really pretty. Not overwhelmingly pretty, but just enough to where I don't look @ her and feel bad that she got stuck with me. And most importantly, she is nice as heck. And gentile. Got another date Friday too. *cash register*
I got class in a few, so lemme cut this short....like stennett (lol)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
I just realized. You aint all that. I'm happy now. You's kinda "not for me". It isn't that good kind either. Its that "eh......not so nice" kind. I'm kinda appalled now. At myself. I'm sorry, I'd like to be friends again and that's it. Really. No relapse. I promise. :-)
I got bad news today. I might have to end my track career until after surgery. And that's not good. I might have re-torn my rotater cuff. And if I did, I won't be pleased. I hope its just rust on my shoulder or a strain so I can resume working and working out. Otherwise.....f*ck. :-(
Rob and I are about to get back to recording. YEAH BOY! HOB, B*TCH!!!!!! :-)
These mosquitos aint no ho. All over everywhere. Buying me and stuff. I'm not too pleased about that.
I realized I like light skinned ckicks. Idk why. They just seem prettier. Hmmm.....idk. That might make some people not pleased. Some darker skinned females, lol. Sorry. If your darker than me......idk about that, lol. Maybe because all the darker skinned chicks I know are just f*cked up, huh? Lol. I'm not gonna name any names.
I just got a good idea. I'm starting a new blog. As in, i'm going to stop using this one. The new one will be happy. Like a rebirth....2.0. Lol. Reborn again....yeah, I like that. But for my last post, I just wanna say thanks, and with that I'm out.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Well, you played me for a fool, a heart wrenching tool/
One of these dudes whose compassionate, too much cord on my spool/
i'd get down on short notice, and be the 5th leg on your stool/
But, while I was kneeling/
You were reeling/
Back to where you came from, which I thought was the ceiling/
You, on that angel stuff, I thought you had wings/
But those must have been differnt things/
Like how your doing nothing, but your flying in a dream/
Like a mirage in some steam/
Instead of bullets, a beam/
Like dance party, except with a holloween theme/
You spooked me, scared me/
Then tied me up, and wasn't there for me/
But no matter how many times you cried and walked the path of the beat and broken/
When it came to pay the tool, I would always pitch the token/
But the time is drawing near, for these words to be spoken/
"look here, don't talk to me, when its on your tears and fears your choking"
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I'm wide awake.
Today was a debacle to say the least. I planned: to go to Great Lakes Crossing @ 9am with my cousin, then probably around 2, go to my ex's grad party, and then swing around a local tattoo parlor. INSTEAD: I didn't leave my house until 2PM, and my cousin ended up not going to great lakes crossing, hence me not being able to go to my ex's grad (Rochestor Hills is too far away to go, unless I am in the area), AND my day was just down. Its partial my fault, because after I found out my plans fell through (for the 2nd straight day) I kinda shut down my "happy zone" and was kinda mopey. Yeah I ended up acting like a jerk in the end. :-/
I owe my cousin an apology. I'll do it tomorrow before she leaves. Maybe next weekend won't fall through (Pittsburgh for the weekend to pick her <my cousin> up) she has a convention, called Cav Canem? (sp) all I know is only 50 ppl or around that # get accepted, and she got accepted. So bravo to her.
I can't get this taste out of my mouth. I made a nice biggun bowl of Rice Krispies, and dug in. "why does this taste kinda fruitish? Not so milky." low and behold I smelled the bottle, and although the "throw out date" is tomorrow, (the 22nd) the milke was awfully sour and bad. I wish I had not looked. I was half way swallowing, when I read.....I violently vomitted all over my grandma's garbage can. Muy delicioso.
I was supposed to go to a shock game Friday....to watch the lovely and very attractive Tammy Sutton-Brown of the Indiana Fever, play the Shock. Indiana won, and TSB has 10pts and 9 rebs, with 1 block....so its like a double double. (I predicted one Friday and Sunday) She is Bad as heck (for a basketball player). If I knew her, and didn't just tweet her.....I would not be single. :-)
I have the best Twitter trio of friends. Katherine D (@jjlola) Kyra (@kyra028) and Andrea (@ampersandrea) are the nicest and coolest people I know....on twitter. Lol and (@ampersandrea) is a graphic designer, so if you need something sketched...toss some dough and she will draw something cool as heck....she is drawing a tat of mine after all, wouldn't just leave that to any body. Lol.
Ya know what bothers me? People who don't unfriend you on things (like Facebook) but won't answer you ever. Texts, Facebook, twitter, etc. Like "The Pretty one"'s friend, and Danae Florias, and Kelsey Elliot. Acting stupid as hell for no reason. Smh :-/ just say "I don't wanna talk to your ass, you're annoying" and I'm gone. But not saying anything when I say hello? Whatever.
I was asked to hang out tonight by Miss Dick Berries :-) woulda hung out with her, Kieona, and "Miss Pretty" but alas, I'm on the eastside for tonight. So no hang outs for me.
I still feel very sick to my stomach, from that milk. Ugh.
I'm gonna watch the end of "Cowboy Bebop" and "Big O" so like until 5am, then I'm going to bed.
"out the front door, 2 fingers and I peace"
Thursday, June 18, 2009
where is my axe? gotta smell this b*tch up like an Orange. lol
but really this isnt a game....i think im dying. omg.
found my favorite song from "Afro Samurai: The Game"
yeah guitar riffs out of this world.
i also like this
just because its a weird song. listen to it with the lyrics...you'll be like...wtf? lol
lately, i wanna take responsibility. cleaning my room, doing the lawn, dishes, leaves, etc. and idk why...
maybe its because i wanted to be seen as more of adult. ....and because i need money for tats and school. lol.
my friends are my friends...and i have developed an attraction to someone i shouldnt have one for. she is probably a bit younger...well not probably. i just dont wanna be like....yeah...not good.
my trail behind "miss pretty" as i will call her from now on, is drawing to an end, due to the fact i cant read her from afar, and the fact she really wont let me close again....eh....life has balls for you to get kicked in....shoulda wore a cup. lol
i am getting another tat, besides "tu tat de familia". i am getting a french one on my right shoulder/collarbone. it will read "C'est La Vie"...which is "Such is life" thats the way i live now. no more real lamenting. because thats stupid stuff.
i want a different backround besides this just normal black backround.....its so bland and sad....kinda like me :-O
"My Chippy" is such a peaceful song......idk why...but it makes me feel better.... :-)
i'm pretty much done for now.
Robot Chicken is on repeat.
i will add this though....that list of girls i like hasnt changed much.....maybe add one on...take one off...mmhmm....
and this....instrumentals make me wanna be fully tatted....idk why....
Sunday, June 14, 2009
"Whatever happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas......except for herpes...that stays with you forever" (funny ass stuff)
Rob aka Bobbito-Ones aka "Rob, Bob, and Slob" and I hung out....for the whole day. Like from like 12 to 2. (PM to AM). We hooped until our arms were sore @ my uncles. (not the f*ck up one, because that would mean we hooped @ my grandma's because he is too stupid to save his money so he can move out of his parent's house and get a damn job. That's right, I ho-ed that n*gga....AND?) then we left to go to my grandma's and just chilled out. Rob witnessed me choke away 2 games of 2K9 online....smh, to that last game esp....clevenland's ho ass team. Anyways, we then left for Southfield so Rob could get funky fresh, then went to the paladium.
(They had more chaldians and arabs in Birmingham @ night than a Saudi Arabian POW camp. its wrong, but I'm not fond of chaldos, hence my lack of chaldean friends. Males = because they mock African American culture OR they they invented it OR because they date black chicks <I'll get back to this one in a few> OR all of the above. I hate the females because of their fathers and brothers. Oh, let a sand n*gga man date a n*gga chick, but switch the sand to the other sex, and they will crusade on your ass, believe me from experience. And that's not just my thinking (or experience), my grandmother, nary a racist done in her body, believes that to be true and I realized all of this before she told me she knew that already. That's why I don't talk to agatha (...besides the fact she hates me for ho-ing that b*tch), rachel kassa, or any of the chaldo female. Ya'll shady. )
Anyways back on point. We saw "The Hangover", which I would give it a 9 1/2....outta 5. It won't top "Freddy Got Fingered" in my book, but sh*t was funny.
"Card reading isn't illegal....its just frowned upon....like masterbating on an airplane"
Last night I had a cold shiver up my spine and was reminded why I should become "The Turtle" (thank you for allowing/helping me to name it, Constance). My "underbelly" (or niceness/kindness) won't be taken advantage anymore. Oh I'm sure of that. I'm flipping over slowly, day by day, on to my "hard shell" (or calous-ness, meanness), and when I flip, I will stay this way. The only ones who won't feel that winter, are those under me. The ones who are nice and care. Them n*ggas. Otherwise, "peace, n*gga"
I came back here and realized I hadn't said why I got the shiver. It was because, someone told me I made them have a good day. I don't like hearing that stuff, B. Because if you have any friends, they should be able to do that too, and by no means am I a great friend. I'm a marginally good one who won't sell you out. That's about it. The reason why it was a cold shiver was because that scares me. Because although I am there for people for than I need to be, I'm not there ALL the time, and I'm sure most people won't f*ck themselves up, it still scares me alittle.
Someone didn't call me in the morning like they said they would.... :-/
Someone needs to "cool it, B" before I REALLY hurt them feelings. She knows who it is. Don't come @ me like you don't know me, because I'll make you wish you didn't, with your bone thin, no t*tty havin, ditzy ass. That's all for this right now.
Oh yeah, memo to me....
"Stop playing music on your phone until you wake up, it doesn't help @ all and just drains my battery"
But, I think I'll attempt to get ready, so "out the screen door, 2 fingers and I peace."
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
In other news, I told someone something before about a girl who a lot of people know and myself. I said "BETWEEN YOU AND ME" before I said anything.....and during our conversation, low and behold, I look on my twitter account....and can only frown because, everyone who was not supposed to see it, did see it. And she was questioned about it. Now that girl and I don't talk much anymore. Uncanny? I think not. Kinda annoyed but.....whatever, I should have expected it.
Now, EVERYONE has a twitter. Sportscenter, Fox Sports Net, The OKC Thunder, almost every sports athlete, hell, even my teachers have one. Akwardness much? I think so.
I tried to cut this pimple off my face.....I need some1 else to do it for me, because I stop when it hurts. That's how I can get tattoos, because I'm not very tolernt of pain I cause on myself, that's why people are surprised that I used to cut. Yeah....it look like 4 hours, lol, because I'd just stare @ the cutting item (scissiors, knife, letter opener, etc.) I know, I'm laughing about this, because its funny and sad.
I'm gonna get going, cause I don't have much to say right now. So, ttyl?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
So today, I decided to accompany my father to work today, as opposed to stay in the house for the 3rd day straight. I went to campus martius, got my breakfast, after an extensive conversation about white people to my father's secritary. (I <3 that woman) after sitting in campus martius for a min, my head began to swim. I thought deep, and realized: "This b*tch wasn't anything to me" (not that she is a b*tch, but those were my exact thoughts.) I realized, I hurt myself thinking about someone who didn't think nearly about me. I realized that this chick who is showing my affection really must be someone who is there for me, even if my trusted friend says she might be with someone, and everyone sees her as kind of a bimbo. I don't, and that's what matters.
Then it happened.
*guitar chords play*
"I'm Not gonna say, did you ever stop to think along the way".....a song on my phone that got me singing.
"To Be Surprised" by Sondre Lerche
"The Weight of the world and the hurt and the dirt, can make you disturbed, but I heard, but I heard" then the chorus starts, and I just start singing
"when I wrap my arms around you, every mistake crumbles, when I wrap my arms around you, everything echos a new song" and I just belt out the rest of the song. In public. Not caring. Just singing, eyes closed. Then I realize. I'm set free. I'm happy. WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I just let go. I'm smiling right now. I bet I looked like a flat idiot. But I didn't care "There's my Chippy!!!!"
Maybe I looked like an Idiot, but I was happy. Really? "AB-So-Lutly"
Hell I just have money to a street man......I never do that.... I'm high, or something, lol.
I love myself. I'm happy.
I just made my own day. :-)
@>-->-->--Dirty Rose, out.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
i wish i didnt have these morals.
that "i cant have intercourse with a girl unless i date her", and if i dont go by it, i feel awful. sure i act like "hell yeah, i got all up in that" but really.....i feel like crap. because really that means i had no feelings for her...but i had feelings for her vagina.....well...technically...i did have a feeling...but that was in it...but whatever.
i also wish i didnt have that thing where "i cant date you because i know and have befriend-ed your ex and i respect him". man.....those are the best girls. all of them. those ones that i respect someone else which keeps me away from them....and it makes it really awkward to talk to them now. especially this latest one. thats why i was hesitant to say hello to her....eh...
"sometimes the only way around it, is to cry it out" - A Friend.
i hate that phrase. so much. because crying is for hoes. real talk. i can understand crying because you lost a big game. or crying because you lost your family. but crying because you dont understand something? no...not at all. but low and behold....
2 days before and yesterday...what was i doing...by my definition, i was "acting like a ho" for most of the day. but i know why now.
"The weight of the world
And the hurt and the dirt
Can make you disturbed
But I heard, but I heard
When I wrap my arms around you
Every mistake we made crumbles
When I wrap my arms around you
Everything echoes a new song " - Sondre Lerche
i miss love....alot...i miss being loved. i miss loving someone. i miss being envied by the people in the crowd. i miss the "Get A Room, Ya Saps!!!" i would attract, due to our PDAs. i miss that. and i cant find it. f*Ck all this "let love you" because it isnt coming. and it annoys me. people mistake my overbearing care for annoyingness. i guess maybe....Jokes on me....and Life Was Telling Me A Joke...yeah a Joke.
Whatever.....I cant stop the Rain.....and i really dont know...if i want too anymore.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
For starters, I'm sorry to my family. Even the ones that don't deserve it. I'm espcially sorry to the ones who I hurt who are there for me, like my grandmother. I love her to death, and I will probably smother myself when she dies. She means that much to me. I'm sorry to my father too. I'm sorry I'm a f*ck up. Very sorry. I'm sorry I didn't get into a 4 year institute, and am just a hole in your pocket.
I am: Fletcher Sharpe. I attend Oakland community college. I am a 19 year old, contimplating quiting school, and chasing a false dream of track and field glory while putting in little to none of the work. I am (in a short word) a fraud. I weave a mess of lies around myself to make people think something about me that isn't true. A false sense of people liking me.....or not liking me. Most people who dislike me, dislike the false me. Not the real me. If you knew the real me, you would probably just be normal. I act like I don't care if you care, but I do. I act tougher.....because when I don't know what to say I have to act like a hardass. I hate it but I built up this wall so that no one will question me.
So, since I'm being honest, I felt the need to get this off my chest, I say I like a lot of girls, but I don't. really in my book
, its a few. More than you'd expect, but still. This is my list of girls I am (still slightly/moderately/very much so) attracted to. I won't describe why, you can ask me that, when you want...if you want): India S, Melissa Cole, Artina T, Meilani W (shocker), Olivia Klien (real shocker), Rachael Peck (albiet, she's now a lesbian) Amanda F, and Marty Watson (although she kinda broke my <3). Her friend Deanna is someone I'd like to get to know, too.
Ok, I know some of you are only reading this, so you can find out what my new tat is (Artina). Its gonna be a heart on my arm, like a forearm tat. And it would be a heart. And the middle would be the definition of "Family", while the perimiter would be family in different languages. (English, Tagalog<which is Filipino>, Belgium, French, Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, and Spanish. Below is a diagram of what it might look like. Give me another language that you think would be better if you have good advice for me.
But, I'm done. So I'll talk to ya, abit later. Thanks if you read this. <3 you, really.
Friday, April 10, 2009
So this chick, Kelly, was about to give me her #. And I goofed that up. I said "if you wanna, that's up to you. Better yet, I'll send the ringer to your email address." yeah, that was a gaff. So I got another chance with this 20 year old and it happened. I got her #. She's cute. Looks a lot like Rashida Jones. And I have a major crush on Rashida Jones. Ugh I know. Sad. Anyways. So this girl was my friend, or so I thought. Come to find out, she was being super "Pontius Pilate" about it. (that's my good Friday cheer) she pretty much just blasted me. Calling me "creepy", and "odd", and "stalkerish". Hmm, you gave my your # and email address to talk to you. I only emailed you when I couldn't make it to class. I never called you, and texted you once, to say "hello! :-)" (I remember because it was 2 days ago, and that's how I greet all girls virtually) but I'm a creep and a stalkerish? Ok. Ya know what, f*ck you. Yes, I mean that. Dirty ass, skank ass, nasty h* dirty motherf*cker. That's some SUPREME H* SH*T. We are in COLLEGE, YOU ASS. If you have one problem that's fine. But if its continuous, tell me dammit. Then I'd stop. But to continue to say sh*t, and act like nothing is wrong.....f*ck is wrong with you? Ugh. Whatever. I'm through with it. Dirty....ugh. And the chick who told me? She can go f*ck herself too. Fat ass wanna be cute looking hoochie wannabe ugly b*tch.......yes I'm that annoyed. This went on for a YEAR. So you couldn't have told me this first semester so I wouldn't have to deal with this Bullsh*t. Ugh.
Anyways, back to Korfball. It looks fun. Like real fun. Like I might recruit your ass to come play it with me. Over in Belgium or the Netherlands. Or where ever. Be heros and sh*t.
Ok, I'll make this brief. I am appologizing for a previous post. Although I am still alittle annoyed about, not that much but enough, I shouldn't have been super candid. Although, the person still was in the wrong, as was I. That's all I'm saying on that front. And if you don't accept it.......that's your fault, cause that's about as good as it will get.
I'm mad still (from the recent incident) but whatever. I'm gonna sleep on it, then get to going on this power point.
P.s: you know who I'm talking about.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
i said before, so i'll say it again.
i am a laid back dude. super laid back.
but if i get pissed off, i'm not gonna show it. i'll blog about it
then i'll be fine....*AHEM* someone knew this, and still chose to exhibit some kinda of ire, albeit not
big on my page.....its cool....ANYWAYS.....
I faked my last class of Photo....glad thats overwith.
I love instrumentals......
for some reason i cant stop listening to them.....
ok, im sure you're wondering about the title.
today, i was @ Caribou Coffee just eating, nothing too big. chips and some pretzels.
so as i walked in, there was this cute chick who was sitting @ a table, and an old man sitting about 2 tables way. i sat in between them. as soon as a sat down the lady smiled nicely, and packed up immediately. she whispered "thank you", and jetted away.....i was baffled...thought she was being sarcastic.... the old dude turned around and said "have a nice day, ma'am" she kinda hurried off and didnt say anything.
he turned to me and was like "she isnt to friendly, huh?"
me: "ha, yeah probably a bad day"
man: "so you come here often?"
(ok i shoulda know right then this guy is a creeper, but because he was old, i kinda just let it alone. )
me: "uh not so much, maybe after school"
man: "oh school, your a student?"
me: "yes sir"
then he left me alone for like 30-40 min. i was busy digging up instrumentals
then all of the sudden,
man: "oh, do you mind if i have some pretzels?"
dude went to work on my pretzels.
then my hand hit his by accident.
i didnt look him in the face....its kinda like the urinal rule...
you dont look someone in the face there....but whatever.
then about 5 min later
man: "so do you have a girlfriend?"
me: "excuse me?"
man: "you seem like an attractive young man"
(i noticed just then he was no sitting @ my table, and kinda closer than i would have liked)
man: "so you dont?"
me: "i dont really think thats any of your business, sir"
man: "oh come on"
then i walked away, and bought something (A Hot Apple Blast)
and saw he was glancing @ My Laptop.....
Me: "Oh Hell No......"
so i faked a phone calle by playing my ringtone loud as heck ("RootZilla Beez" ~ BY DJ RastaRoot....yes Rob, i did do that), and sounded mad.
packed up my stuff and left with out a word.....
then i told my cousin what happend.
like most good cousins she blurted it out loud.....in front of all my co-workers....
great...work will be awesome thursday, ugh.....
well.....im off to do god knows what.....moral of the story
"Dont wear headphones infront of old men.....its f*cked up"
p.s: "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDD BUUUUUUUHHHHHHLLLLLLLLLLLLL" Yes Man is funny....
Monday, April 6, 2009
(this eastern European lady keeps lookin @ me...she's cute. Except for that accent. Sounds like one of those evil chicks off of James Bond. That aint cute...nope)
If this whole dating thing don't work, I will seriously go to E-Harmony. That will work. I'm sure of it. I just don't like paying. That's too much money. Almost like mail-order bride. Ugh. But its better then getting sh*t on by random hoes. Like the possibility that this chick who I met @ state through a friend, could possibly open up heaven and "Holy Sh*t" on "Mah Fayse!" but riddle me this though: "if when your name is brought up, and the girl/boy smiles and doesn't say anything, then what does that mean?"
I am a legit 4.4 guy.....when I am healthy and not bloated from food. I found a speed camp. Guy trained Braylon Edwards, Larry Foote, and almost all the other Detroit area football players. Coach Muhamed introduced me. The guy was super tough on me. Excited about my vert though. I impressed him. :-)
I am a sports fan, so I won't comment on the NCAA championship tonight. All I will say is, congrats to who ever wins, and great season to who ever doesn't. I will add that Tyler Hansbrough is a f*cking tool, who does his hair before games. Ass clown.
But I'm out. This post was quick.
I told you I won't be on here so much. School is building up, I need summer courses, I need to condition more for track, etc. Maybe more and more. Ugh.
P.s: AMP Energy: Lightning (lemonade) is great. Its my pick me up. I need it. I'm depressed.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I had a good weekend. Whether it was intended to be like that or not. Rossi is my best (male) friend. I owe him. A lot. I shoulda just stayed with him to begin, like I planned. I really think I bothered him, a lot. Felt kinda like an ass. The only thing that I could say went wrong is the fact I took my laptop, so I left my charge cord. Dumb, I know. But hey, we had fun watching netflix videos. I passed out around 4. Someone had the nerve to think I was gonna walk over to the place @ 2 in the morn. Yeah, I already don't know where the hell I'm going. Rossi is a 2nd semester transfer, so he doesn't really know where he is too much. That futon in there is nice. Anyways, Nury's weird self didn't tell me she had a bf. So, she invited me over to her dorm....with her bf.....no, I'm fine thank you. I had to bust out my tigger slippers. Uh huh!
My meet was not so great. My 100m was just plain ass awful. My 200m was better but I ran out of gas near the end of it.....NO JUICY! (Robert). I saw my ex. She was looking kinda cute. Kinda. She still had that look, like..."wtf?", but she did recognize me first. And she did go away, then come back to talk. It was kinda cute. I did ho her.... Thrice. She got me back though, so it was good. She wouldn't help me up, stating that I was walking, even though I had wrecked my groin. Its because I have high pain tolerance. But whatever. I think I ran a decent 200. Best of the year. I know that. Because it was outdoor. Psh, haha.
I'm still kinda steemed about how Friday went down, but w/e. That's life I guess. Thanks, Rossi. Hell of a weekend.
I'm gonna go back to bed.
P.s: I THINK I might have found a girlfriend.....Spring Arbor?
Friday, April 3, 2009
P.s: thanks, Sib
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
p.s: my butt doesn't have any razor bumps. (no homo)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Today was weird. I got accused of verbally assulting a female classmate, when I asked her why she was affraid of me. Yes, because I am terrifying her by asking why she is affraid of me, GTFOH! Then my uncle acts like a supreme ho. I am getting tired of that man, and his child. I have a little brother who I love. I look after that guy. That's my little brother. Don't make my least favorite uncle's son into my little brother. You will get negative responces. Very negative.
(this post continues on to the next morning)
Netflix is awesome. I love it. I especially love the watch instantly feature. "Jackass 2.5" is funny so far. Bam Margera is a puss. I hate him. Steve-O is like my favorite person ever. "Dizzy Boxing" looks like something me and some friends would do. Bam Margera is SOOOO gay. He is flying a kite with his ass. He likes d*cks near his butt, waaaaaay too much. These dudes are so.....wow. Laying on a damn bed of nails. The Agories were drinking their own pee? AND I just saw Bam's penis? Ugh. Dude got shot with a mini rocket...in his ass. Uh-uh!
(and now around 1:20PM)
Its official. I hate all Arabic people. Most Asian people bother me (aside from my kin, the Filipino) and white-black people make me sad. These Arabic people are arguing about the different ways to speak. Someone said something that they didn't understand, and now they are beefing, mad.
I now fully go to OCC. All my paper work cleared. I am probably the only person who does not wanna be @ this school. I am embarersed. But I can't lie. If I did, my tattoo would be a farce ("The High Minded Man Must Care More For The Truth Then What People Think") the people here are just.....its the same as Oakland. Except not as American. I'm surrounded by Full Blown Arabics, The Japenese or Korean, and The Chaldeans. Omg, this so sucks. I'm like depressed now.
I'm done for today/yesterday. I'll have a better one Friday and Saturday. Friday, I'm rooming up @ State with a friend. (No, I will get NO cakes, and I'll be happy with it) then Saturday, I have a track meet. The Spartan Invite. If I actually go, and don't piss people off, I'll have a great entry. And if I don't......you'll just see a lot. Of swearing.
P.S: I hate people who start in one language then switch mid-sentence when you walk by. Its annoying and f*cked up. Plain and simple.
Friday, March 27, 2009
I want a rose tattoo. But I keep being told by some its gay for a guy to have a rose tattoo, then some say it isn't. Like Kelly, my classmate who resembles Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham), she said its perfectly fine. But then again she asked if it would be in a place to cover it up, which defeats the purpose of most tattoos. Christian, another classmate, said its fine. My cousin said it is. Marty E-Dub said the samething too. Hmmm. My grandma loves orchids. I might get an orchid instead. Hmmmm.
My dad is inviting over another floozy. So I'm @ my grandma's tonight. Kinda pissed about it. I brought my xbox and my laptop. Gonna be playing my xbox if Tim and I don't hang out. Going to see some movies, n*gga!!!!
I need help with my sleeve. If you comment on my blog, tell me what reminds you of me. I need designs for my sleeve (if I ever do draw it)
I shaved my area down there. Its air-rated. So FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! :-D
But I'm getting out of the car soon, or napping.....so I'll get back to this.
P.s: I won't be on here as much anymore. School is the pits, yo.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I have severed friendships like dude nipping rose pedals. Only to have some of them bloom right back. Devin, I cut that, grew back. Marty, I cut that, grew back. India, I kinda cut that, may not grow back. Megan, I kinda cut that, idk if that is wanted back, honestly. Olivia, I most def cut that, and it will NEVER grow back, whore. I'm also talking to more people from UofD, idk why. I saw a bunch of them yesterday @ Summerset.
Serge and I went to see watchmen. I gave it a 8.5. Too long, too much blowing stuff up, too much soft core porn scenes. No, I'm not gay, I just don't wanna see all of that, all the time.
I saw last house on the left with Marty. I give it a 7. It was ok. Plot wise and scare factor it was better than the old one. But the old one had better deaths. But the new ones was more politically correct.
I think I'm becoming the old me. I'm listening to the old Dipset artists I liked before I thought they sucked: JR Writer, and Juelz Santana. "B*tch listen, this isn't no damn game in here, the whole bird gang's in here, like Kurt Kobain was here, yeah yeah yeah yeah!" (I loved that line, sorry)
My stomach feels awful. Yucky. I feel like I'm gonna hurl. And it doesn't feel like the pretty one either. Not just all liquid. Ewww.
As I said earlier, my track season might be over. I was messing around with a friend. We were building stuff out of hollow scraps of metal. It tipped over. One of the scraps happened to have weight in it.....which made it super heavy. That b*tch crashed into my shin. Hella hard. Cut it open, but not that bad. But it hurt to walk. Found out why. Might have a deep bone bruise, and if I do, then I might have to lay off for the rest of the season. (I won't, but I'll be instructed too)
This sleeve is hard as heck to draw. Idk what describes me super well. I got a rain cloud, for pessimisim, rain thunder, and hail for the same. "HOB" at the bottom of my wrist, and "The Man of a Million Names" in the inside of my arm. I can't think of anything else, and my friends aren't helping, partially because they don't want me to get this sleeve. Eh, what they fail to understand is that its conditional. If I don't become a pro, then yes, I won't get it. If I do, 80% chance I will.
I just turned on my phone's music, and "Viva La Vida" came on. Made me sad. Song always does. I have no good reason why. But when followed by the Tekken 3 Theme of Eddy Gordo, I don't feel so bad. His theme sounds happy island-y. If I can say that. Yes I listen to the Tekken 3 and Tekken Tag Tournament soundtracks. They got some cold beats.
I think Marty thinks I'm stupid. Or just plain don't like me. But is just bored enough to where she has to hang out with me, rather than do nothing.
I had a weird dream. It was a bunch of play kids and this little, round Filipino girl. She had this huge Chinese symbol on her shoulder. And everytime I looked @ her, it changed. The play kids and I were about to play touch football (bwahaha, them be athletes? Come on, they barely played athletes right in a play). But I was there and I was talking about how I was gonna be sweet. I remember this part for sure: "I'm gonna be f*ckin dre bly, the old sweet Dre Bly, I'm gonna be Leigh Bodden before the lions got him, I'm gonna be matha-f*ckin Nandi Asumouga!" then I woke up soon after. Whoo. I was f*cked up. Haha.
My arms hurt so bad. And I need to put more money on my card before it runs out. Either that or cancel netflix and gamefly mommentarily. I dropped photo with telling anyone. Hate that class, love the teacher though.
Molly broke my heart.....sorta. She told me she couldn't love, which why we couldn't be. And now she is kickin it with some dude....how lovely. (that was a rhyme, I'm stepping my game up.....where you. @, robba????)
I think I'm done.. The main reason why I couldn't blog was because my phone screen was messed up. And when it got messed up, I have no reason to blog. Doing it from the computer is WAAAY too hard.
But I'm the belly button, outtie,
P.s: this feels so familiar.....kinda missed it.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Anyways, I saw "Watchmen" with Serge and his cousin, Matt. I'd give it a 8.7 out of 10. Only because it was long as hell, and was drawn out @ some parts. But I loved the plot, gore, and even the soft core porn. Kinda akward though, Dr. Manhattan (blue guy) coulda covered up alittle more. I didn't wanna see his penis....at all frankly, but if I had to see it, once or twice at the most....but not 1/3 of the damn movie.
I want a "Rorschach" mask, for my next track meet. Man....I will win....because I'll intimidate everyone. Haha.
I joined USA Track and Field today.....I have some BIG ASS shoes to ATTEMPT to fill. I also made my papers to send to Arizona State in Tempe, AZ, and Arizona.....where ever it is. Arizona State is where Henry Carr went. That's my cousin. He is a 2 time gold medalist @ the '64 Tokyo Olympics. Ranked #1 in the world in the 200 for like 2 years........maybe its best I don't bring up the fact that's my cousin, eh? Yeah, I don't think I'll be coming close to f*cking with his 20.5 or 20.2 220 yard (old talk for 200 meters, really about 201 meters) no.....that's not me, friend.....but maybe it could be.
I am happy. I made my bestie feel better. Yes, I am talking about Deondra LaJuan Powers. Yes, put your government name out there like that. But I <3 you, and I'm sorry for what you went though. <3 ya bestie.
I'm soo tired, I'm out of here like.....whatever is the opposite of (body)hair.
P.s: go to rennisance High school today @ 5, and watch UofD get Buttf*cked my Pershing. HAHAHA.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Anyways. I just got on the bus. I had fun. And I mean it. I did. I missed my family down here. Albiet, we fought @ sometimes. But that's what families do.
This bus driver is funny. She is the anti-of the one who drove down here. I remember her from before.
"1000$ to ask me a question, and 750$ to receive an answer. My real job is to drive this greyhound, not answer questions" I smiled @ that. It was funny. I hope she didn't take offense when I called her "ma'am" wasn't trying to say she was old. Just trying to show respect.
I am going to go to this kairos thing today. Idk why. But I feel I should. It might be the only one I attend, so I might as well do it.
There is this chick on the bus who looks like Remy Ma. Yuck! Nasty ass h*. Remy Ma is not cute. At all. Any woman who would talk about running through men like nothing is not attractive. Unless its their job. Then.....can't really do nothing about that. Like Ice La Foxxx, she is bad as heck. But she goes through men AND women. She is still bad as heck though. I didn't know she got implants. She used to be one of them slim cute chicks. All slim. Now she has DDs. It don't even look right. She don't look like Ice La Foxxx. :-/
I watched "The Last House on The Left". The original Version from 1972 I think. That movie was f*cked up. No other words to describe it. Just f*cked up. Dude made the 2 girls do it. The scene was akward as heck. Like wasn't a little cut away. It showed the whole thing, until he forced the girl down on the other girl, then it cut away. But it showed the whole stripping scene. And the whole everything else. It even showed the rape scene. Wtf man, I don't wanna see that sh*t.......but you could tell he got his nut....ewww. Then the mother did the most OC (Out Cold or Out of Control) thing in the movie. She gives the dome to one of the bad guys, willingly. Then she (if your sqwemish, skip this) BITES HIS NUTS OFF. SHE BIT OFF HIS MOTHERF*CKING NUTS!!! OMFG! Like I had nightmares of that. Ewww, damn!
I had a bad expierence, where I made Meilani (oh, hell yeah, I'm name calling now, B*tches) "give up the ghost"......TWICE before I "gave up mine"......and she didn't wanna finish me off. :-/
It happend again last night. With my freaky-zeaky neighbor.
"I don't ever give head"
(then why you ask me to do it?)
"because men are supposed to"
(both people are)
(so your gonna leave me hanging?)
"finish yourself off"
...........I didn't. She snapped outta that, real quick. and so ends my 5 month celibacy.
Man I passed out @ like 1150. Its 13:43. (1:43PM) and I just woke up. There is a dude who looks just like Corey Brewer. Weak ass n*gga. Some white chick just went by on a beautiful blue motor cycle.. She surprisingly was on the heavyside. But still. The bike was gorgeous. It matched my shorts and shirt, which are UNC blue. I hate UNC basketball, but I love UNC football. They are gritty and I <3 it. Not much flash, just smash and dash. That's great football, right there.
We stopped in Lima just now. And a kid who visibly is from Detroit got on, so says his hoodie. He is talking to this shady dude, in a low voice, who slightly resembles siagon, except he had an eyebrow and a lip peircing. Looks like he is giving him a life lesson in something, because he his giving that "look here, n*gga" mean mug.
We are almost to findlay. I can't wait. I'm hungry. Can't get any taco bell, though.....well maybe some. I know I gotta deposit some of these funds into my account to keep it afloat. Its getting bad. Like real bad. I really need to stop using my card. That's emergency money. And I'm not using it for emergencies.
So I am past halfway home. Wow. This chick in front of me keeps looking back @ me. She need to quit. I'll "FYUCK HER UP, NYU-KUH". She aint cute.
Omg, I sat on one of my balls. It hurt very badly. Like....ever had one of them pinched before? It was like that.
As you might have noticed along time ago. Darrick told me to chance the music, so I did mostly. See? Its more hip-hop is, so if Darrick b*tches me out, I'm gonna f*ck him up. Street fighter style.
You know who sucks at rapping? Detroit's own Danny Brown. I'm sorry rob, but he isn't good. If ass cheeks could talk, they would spit his rhymes. His off beat nerd ass. His best rhyme "You aint no Boss, you fake M.bison" the worst? "I'm on top of the cake like sprinkles, like frosting" or some sh*t. I don't wanna remember it. Better yet, his worst line is his verse in his "Contra" freestyle. He made a song about a cheat code. People think he is cold. Wtf is wrong with you? "Danny Brown is cold, D-town stand up!" yes stand up and throw tomatoes @ that n*gga. I could take him in a rap battle.....and WIN. Rob said his braids make him kinda sweet. Well my tattoos cancel out his braids. There. Wack ass n*gga. Just his thought infuriates me. I know what your thinking "HATER". No. Talk about kobe? Hater. Talk about lebron (sometimes)? hater. Talk about any one successful? Hater. DANNY BROWN AINT SH*T!!!! They probably keep him around for comedy relief.
One of the most jacked up things I heard this weekend. "Man, he took my sister virginity.....before I did" ~ Gunnar Fritz Stannsson. Also know as Ricky, The black guy from Unforgiveable. Some parts of those movies make no sense what so ever. Like in "The Long afternoon" why would you pick up a random dude on the side of the road? And if he was a knife? So? Drive your ass away. And if he throws his knife at the armrest to show it to you. Grab it once it hits the ground, and turn on him. Man.....ugh. Haha, I still love the movies.
I bought the ultimate shirt (online, god dammit) while in Cincy. It completed my life. After I get it, that is.
We finally stopped in Findlay. And I decided not to get taco bell. And I ended up paying about the same price anyways. Damn 5 hour energy. My stomach still aint recover from that Red Robin. Oh yeah, PAIGE ALSTON STEALS HER LITTLE SISTER'S DORA THE EXPLORER UNDERWEAR AND WEARS THEM. (told I would get you Paige.)
All I have left are 2 45 min drives about. One from findlay to Toledo, then from Toledo to Detroit. And then I might have to come right back down here in 2 Saturdays. Down to Toledo area, not Cincy. And its looking like I prob won't be going to that meet @ Cedarville. Doesn't look like mom wants to acomadate me that day. And the OSU one, they both said that they don't wanna have to drive me there and back both days. And there is no way in hell I am driving down to OSU. From Detroit to Mich State is the distance it is from Cincy to OSU. So after this long ass drive, I then gotta have another? Oh hell no.
Its been said music makes things so by faster. These 45 min don't seem to be moving by any faster @ all.
That chick in front of me is possibly retarded. She has just a straight ahead stare that kinda bothers me. Esp when she looks back @ me. I held the door open back @ findlay, and she just went right past it. Didn't look anywhere except ahead. I was like "well, gawd damn" and went in.
I have on my NEW Navy Blue Tights. And I love them. Dearly. I am gonna collect all different color tights. That's my goal. Mind you, I mean athletic tights. Not them gay (sorry Jamal) see through ones. I mean actual solid "keep you warm" tights. Ewww.
Why whenever the chorus of "We On" (Lupe, Gemstones) plays does the sun come of? And it gets all bright. Then some depressing song comes on, and it makes no sense.
I miss my old life. I just realized that. Before the track season. Before I met all these girls. Before I got tattooed. Hell even before UofD. Just I miss that. Back when if you lied it had little consequence, and when your only real problems wernt money running out on your card, and school suffocating you. They were I want better pokemon cards. And other things. If I could go back in time andjust give all my wisdom and thought to the 5th/6th grade me. I'm sure I wouldn't be were I am now. I would be successful. People wouldn't trash my ass behind my back. i'd be closer to my birthday-mate, Dan Bruder. I have to meet someone who hates him. And that's......like outta atleast 2000 people;
I miss back when Spencer schmid and TJ and I were like best friends. Like all of us. Back when all my frosh friends and I were close. Before they all changed, and back before I change a little too.
Ah! Home! Finally.
Now lemme get to this kairos thing, and then its some street fighter, BOY!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
i kinda posted that link for feedback alittle bit, w/e
ya'll just aint gonna help a dude
anyways, i realized that in all honesty i have not many real friends
lemme list who i see as my friends are:
Part of HOB which includes: Rob Solomon & Darrick Ervin
Tim Ossman (well technically no because he is family)
and sometimes Devin M. & Marty Watson
aside from that....no
i dont really see anyone else as really much of a friend
i dont wanna name call, so please dont make me.....
i thought so of ya'll were my friends...WERE...
but...naturally, i was wrong.
back to the 1st post, i guess
ya'll some low ass ho*s
not all of ya'll, like India...ya'll ok most times, but not all the time.
this might make some of you stop reading....but...
i'm sorta concerned....but then again sorta not....
i mean not many people read anyways...
then again.,....it aint for you....so.....
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Man, sleeping is poisonous on this bus. Once you fall asleep, you do it like or 4 times on the bus. For like 20 min each....like I just did. Woke up, kinda horn-dogish each time (ewww). I wish I had someone like that with me, who was a female (yeaaaahh!!!!!), who was white (.......that was a joke)
This big ole gruffy white man ran this nice little old lady's seat. (you notice when I don't say a race, you assume their black.....that's the racist inside you) I felt bad because I could tell her, because I was just waking up for the 4th time. And I was grumpy about it, too.
You know what play still makes me mad? Steve Francis' dunk back when he played for the magic. When he took like 8 steps after he picked up the ball, threw it off the glass, then dunked it. Then the next play, Lindsey hunter wiggles his pivot foot, and they call traveling, and a tech when he argues the call. This also made me realize, I need to step my sports game up. Need to talk more about sports so people are like "yeah, such and such, and then he was bashing the pistons", haha.
I gained a new role model: Rod Benson. He is funny as heck. He is a professional athlete. And he still has time to blog. "Boom Tho".....I don't get it, but hey...dude gets paid, and gets to do what he loves. Can't knock him. Hope he makes into the NBA. I'll buy his jersey.
Xavier: Renegade Angel is losing me. The first episode was hilarious, the 2nd was pretty good. The 3rd? Ugh.....WTF PFFR? All it was about was Xavier flipping himself inside out just to be someone's friend, then reversing to be someone else's. Then his snake hand giving the snake charmer <an oral good time> who turned out to be his cheif-master? Where did all the actual funny stuff go? Like calling his mother nickname of "The Grah-nd Canh-Yeon" and him not knowing by, because the grand canyon is just a "wife gash, open for whoever to to enter and <come> as they please where ever" or like him walking in on 8 guys boning his mom, and her saying they were giving her "The Hemlich Manuver"
Just got to Findlay. Finally. 10:30. These white chicks are following this man in a turban around. There is some profiling right there.
As I said in a previous post, women of a Indian/middle east are attractive to me. Idk why. Maybe its their eyes. I just....wow.....this lady in the truck stop....omg she was so cute. Like idk what to say.
Dude bought a camofloge UofM hate. Omg....."you know if your a redneck, when......"
To India: I do realize I am eating taco bell @ 10 in the morn. But I don't care. 4th meal does not have a real time a lot and if it does.......I don't wanna know it. Better off ignorant than feeling bad later for messing up my eating schedule....haha
These people in Lima & Dayton have some nicer houses. Hmmm. I kinda like the landscape of Dayton. If only they had a track team, then I would def be @ this school.
Its only about to be 12. Still got 2 hours left. Ugh. India and/or sana were supposed to call. Neither did. Poo....
Now that I think about it, Lima scares me. I have only seen 2 people walking outside. Both white, both with hoodies, hoods up, and hats that covered all except their eyes. Hmmm......It also looks like a town that Freddy Kruger would hit up.
I <3 my poopsy. Its funny, she never was really even MY poopsy, and when we saw each other, both times, we were not very nice to each other. Funny now, how I think she is like the coolest ever. And cute to boot. Too bad I got to her too late. Yes, I'm talking about Rachael Kassa, who also happens to be my favorite chaldean. My poopsy! :-) <3
I'm so sleepy. This taco bell messed my stomach up. Oh wee. I can't go to sleep now. Not close enough. AND my phone is below 25% battery power. Oh no! :-(
I'm so sleepy. Its like about 1:12.
Less than an hour. I passed out in half lima, woke up and we were in dayton's stop with this lady asking me to move my legs down so her daughter could lean her seat back into my chest. (I reluctantly agree-ed, seeing as the daughter wouldn't talk to me. She was pleading for her mother to ask, trifling) only one more ride and then I will be with family. My mother and I have patched stuff up so, its ok. She was ok with my TWO tattoos. Let's see how she reacts to my 5/6.
"I aint know if I should ask if I should them with me, all I know is, they wanted to come" (overheard) has to be the worst logic I have ever heard of in my life. Omg wow.....just.....wtf? That is dumb sh*t. I almost actually swore there.
A dude sitting behind me 3 seats sounds like Gucci Mane.....its infuriates me. A lot I hate that wack ass dude.
AH finally I get to see my family! 6 hours later, a bed, and everything!
P.s: if you read this whole thing,......I will seriously give you a dollar. No lie. Sorry for tygr length. I have.
And he is like right in front of me right now. I was actually pretty nice. I gave 4 dollars. I forgot the golden rule. Give green, they give their time.....willingly, or unwillingly. I'm just waiting for something to happen, and for something to disappear. He doesn't look like a bum. Said he is trying to get to Ann Arbor. Atleast he isn't stupid, he said he needed 7 dollars to a lady, then said he needed 7, after she had not change to us. Earlier, I heard he said he needed 10 to a guy who have him 3. Said he was stuck @ the bus station since yesterday, phone died no money. Got in too late. Sounds ok and fishy, as well. He seems cool. He seems like a wigger, though. He said "Horoscope, Biyatch!" just like that, like he wasn't trying to emphasize. He says he is dating miss Michigan 2006/miss Chicago 2007, which is kinda conflicting, saying she could be the baddest in Michigan, but not the baddest in Chicago. Hmm. He said his name, but it came out of my head. He didn't say it to me anyways. He said it to this dude next to me, named "Jesse" "Jesse" is a black dude, who likes Insane Clown Posse. He has an ICP tattoo. I'm frowning right now. He is also in the army. (frowning harder) and he enjoys it (frowning so hard that my face hurts). Back to this white bum. "Jesse" is letting this dude use his $900 laptop.....after telling him it was $900....albiet he is over his shoulder, "Jesse" looks out of shape. But if he made the army then he must be ok. He DOES talk about smoking super refer. But back to this bum. He claims to be an electrician who makes $61 an hour, but knows nothing about Wi-fi, nor Bluetooth, AND is convinced that both Facebook and Myspace are the exact same thing. I lied (yes I lied) to him. Told him I was just back for a minute from UofA. That's Arizona. There is some truth there. I am applying there, and A(rizona)S(tate)U. But this bum was just saying how fast I look, and all this other stuff, and I have never met him in my life. This "Jesse" kid......he is white @ heart. I can see it. Like I don't mean talking proper white, because that's me right there. I mean, he is WHITE, CACASIAN (or how ever your spell it). Damn man! Anyways, back to this bum. Owns a T-mobile phone, doesn't know customer care's #. I'm sure he is just scamming us. Or he is one of those dudes who goes on TV shows who is like fake but no one knows, and he is just there to see how good people act, or some sh*t. All I know is I'm glad I had to board. He kept calling me "My Brotha"....he was about to get "The Slap-pa" and I mean that. $141 in my pocket until Friday. I am NOT using my card. If you read this, remind me through texts, Facebook (if I'm on), or just call me even. But DON'T let me USE my card. If your my friend, you will do this. If not, you a d*ck sucka, and a trick n*gga/<white person>. AND this dude made fun of my corect talking, "oh your name is <psuedo white voice> Flet-ch-er?" if he didn't look bigger then, I would have "Mike Tyson: Punch Out-ed" hisThis wigger ass. Ya'll already know I don't like them dudes <refer to other posts>
This one white dude must have not EVER travelled publically. They said overhead luggage, and dude put his bad over his head......outside the bus............(frowning).....he looks scared too. If I wasn't so "to my self" on these buses, I'd go talk to him.
This one chick next to me seems irritated as heck. She isn't white, so no I am not profiling only white people today.....if I did.....that would be everyday. (frowns again) she sat down, and thought that sitting next to me, would be quiet. Quite the contrary. Wherever I sit, there is ALWAYS noise, and its never me. Only time I make noise, is when someone needs a cellphone, and I let them use it, because UofD has made me into to some kind of compassion freak. It sucks. And I don't like it.
I WILL own an UNFORGIVABLE shirt and headband. Oh yes. I want the "B*tch you aint no nerd?" but its not censored. So I could only wear it around the house, or out by myself. I might just get the "That's a mistake" (in refrence to siblings) or "Wait for my request" (in reference for sitting down). The headband reads "Unforgivable". I want the black one, but they are sold out of those. So only the white ones are available. And seeing as they (Logan Hodge, the camera man, and Gunnar Fritz Stannasson, the man we all see on the camera of the "unforgivable" series, "The Long Afternoon", "The Visitor", "The Butler", etc. Known as "Ricky".....The black dude who says OC outrageous stuff) my most recent favorite qoute "I love to get girls pregnant who can't support themselves because they are in school, I don't pay child support, I....OWE.....MILLIONS!"
Idk if I can keep this whole blog for the whole bus ride. Damn some people will be busing until 7:40 to Tennesse (Tennesse is in Central time, so that's 8:40). But idk if I could blog consistantly until 2:05. This lady next to me speaks like those mushmouth characters on cartoons. But this dude next her understands her. Eh, w/e. The bus drivers usually are happy to drive, joking. This one is all mad, that he has to drive. N*gga, you mad? Drive the Got-Damned bus, take my $ and STFU.
Have any of you just woken up and said "yes I would not mind <sexual favors> from <name>"? I did that the past 2 days. I can't really say who because you probably know them. And it would be akward. Seeing as how we met. Ugh! :-O.
I am currantly listening to The Carter 3......through someones headset....2 seats behind me. N*ggas these days, I swear. And your ass wonder why you cant hear what people say next to you. Because you put freaking 808 speakers in your mother<freaking> ears.
I just realized, I can blog this whole bus ride, if I just slow it down abit, and don't do it immediately, but by bit. I'm a f-king genious. :-P
I remember when I made that long ass post, about the people mover, and all these people read it. Huh.....I felt so important. :-P tried to do the same for the auto show and I botched it 2x. Maybe people will read this one.....I hope.....if not its ok. I'll be fine. :-O
This dude can't drive. He just pulled over on the shoulder.......for no reason. I will def not be there by 2:05. Ugh.