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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Unprepared to be surprised

For 1st time, I'm my life, I was in a huge huge awful dump, over a girl I had not dated. Never before had that happend. I was just.....idk, sad, hurt, pissed off, etc. I couldn't explain why a chick I had no relationship with (except for being friends, which now isn't even working because she won't really talk to me) could make me hate myself that much. I call it "Where's my Chippy?" after "Tim and Eric" I couldn't find my problem. And I was starting to freak out. "Chip Chip! Chip Chip!" I had panic attacks. I started crying unexplainably. My father actually came and checked on me, that's how bad it was. I didn't get why I was so mad, and sad. "Chip Chip"!

So today, I decided to accompany my father to work today, as opposed to stay in the house for the 3rd day straight. I went to campus martius, got my breakfast, after an extensive conversation about white people to my father's secritary. (I <3 that woman) after sitting in campus martius for a min, my head began to swim. I thought deep, and realized: "This b*tch wasn't anything to me" (not that she is a b*tch, but those were my exact thoughts.) I realized, I hurt myself thinking about someone who didn't think nearly about me. I realized that this chick who is showing my affection really must be someone who is there for me, even if my trusted friend says she might be with someone, and everyone sees her as kind of a bimbo. I don't, and that's what matters.

Then it happened.
*guitar chords play*
"I'm Not gonna say, did you ever stop to think along the way".....a song on my phone that got me singing.
"To Be Surprised" by Sondre Lerche
"The Weight of the world and the hurt and the dirt, can make you disturbed, but I heard, but I heard" then the chorus starts, and I just start singing
"when I wrap my arms around you, every mistake crumbles, when I wrap my arms around you, everything echos a new song" and I just belt out the rest of the song. In public. Not caring. Just singing, eyes closed. Then I realize. I'm set free. I'm happy. WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I just let go. I'm smiling right now. I bet I looked like a flat idiot. But I didn't care "There's my Chippy!!!!"

Maybe I looked like an Idiot, but I was happy. Really? "AB-So-Lutly"

Hell I just have money to a street man......I never do that.... I'm high, or something, lol.

I love myself. I'm happy.
I just made my own day. :-)

@>-->-->--Dirty Rose, out.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you better Fletch. I would of missed the old not giving a fuck ready to whip his nuts on someone's shoulder Fletcher. And to be suprised is the only Sondre Leche song I have on my Ipod lol.


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